let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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