I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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