I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
