You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
