btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
