i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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