4 words: hood of his car
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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