is your mom at the bar?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
