If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
