Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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