The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
