I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
