yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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