I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize