Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
