You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
