We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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