Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
