why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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