We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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