my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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