Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
