i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
