So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
