your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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