i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
