I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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