She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Bring me that man meat
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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