On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize