I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
