so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
