FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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