put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
