so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize