office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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