I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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