the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
