Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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