Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
