the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize