Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
