I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
