I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
