is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
third nipple confirmed
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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