In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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