His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
