idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
