I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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