i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
he puts the penis in happiness.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
