i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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