i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
