Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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