Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
