he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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