New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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