I murdered the dance floor call the cops
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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