watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
