You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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