she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I smell like Dick and happiness
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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