you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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