where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
